“This feels good to me,” he said as he stood in front of me, arms crossed over his chest and legs straight and slightly wider than his hips.

“Do you feel strong?”

“Confident. Yes.”

“I get that you feel that way.   The person in front of you, however, is sensing something a bit different.”

As I was, in fact, the person in front of him at that moment, I related that I felt he was closed off, unmovable.  If I was looking to hire him, I would expect he would not be open to any ideas from me. If I’m in an audience I might feel he was intimidating.

I’ve been working with this client, and I know my “take” from his stance is not indicative of his actual working style.  He is a creative mind who is very good at listening and adapting his plan to provide what his customer desires.

This is an example of how what feels good to you, may be going against you, and you may not know it.

My suggestion to him:

“Uncross your arms … open your chest, your heart area to me.  Try holding one fist with the other hand in front of you at first.  This will help to transition you away from the closed arms that seem to bring you that security.  How does that feel?”

“Ok.”

“Great.” Step one.

Here’s the thing.

We so often have no idea what our body language is telling others, or surprisingly, what our body language is telling US.

By opening the body and uncrossing limbs (that’s legs, too!) we can be more able to receive.  You may have heard that a closed fist cannot accept a gift ….

Open your body up and you will open the flow of energy between you and the person in front of you, or your audience.

Being open to others is charismatic!

I’m here,
Sandra Dee