Look up! Turn a Pity Party into a Positive!

Have you ever thrown yourself a party? How about a “pity party?”

We put on pajamas, put a spoon in the ice cream container and watch The Notebook… again. Let’s face it, we all experience low times. We have disappointments, set backs and things that seem like failures that can leave us feeling pretty bad. Sometimes, we just choose to stay in that state for a bit.

One good thing about feeling bad is the ability to feel the frustration and sadness allows us to appreciate the opposite emotions of happiness, joy and gratitude.

Another good thing? A low point usually precedes a change for the better, although it’s not always easy to see this when you are in the doldrums.

Hence, the danger of the pity party is that we can linger too long! It’s easy to stay in the trap of feeling sorry for ourselves and like we are the only one that has ever been so low.

That’s why it’s important to invite others to your party!

“Wait a minute! That doesn’t seem right,” you say. “Everyone knows a pity party is a depressing party of one!” Traditionally, yes, but I invite you to think differently to make the most of the opportunity before you.

The growth of a low point comes, not when you are down, but as you climb out of the darkness. It’s the light that illuminates possibilities for improvement and sometimes you need someone else to lift your head out of the Rocky Road so you can get to the climb faster!

In my book, “IMPACT! Secrets to Powerful Personal Presence” I talk about the importance of having a support team for times just like this. After all, it won’t benefit you to invite a “commiserater”(someone that will agree with how awful your situation is). Instead, reach out to a coach, mentor or a trusted successful business associate that can offer a new perspective!

It can be easier than you think. Just pick up the phone and say, “ Hey, something has happened, and I am feeling pretty down about it. Do you have a few minutes?” Don’t be discouraged if it takes a few calls before you reach someone. Your goal is to have a new set of eyes on the problem.

This builds your resiliency muscle! Sharing with members in your support team may lead to a brainstorm that can shed some light and you’ll start to see the world in a whole different way. Even the small step of reaching out to another person will begin to raise your positivity level. A new (and even better) possibility can surface, maybe even before the ice cream melts!

How about you? What have you done to get yourself out of the doldrums?